Celebrating 40

We changed before the open house. 1/24/25

Sunday was our 40th anniversary. 

On January 26, 1985, we had 75 family and friends join us at Trinity Lutheran Church in Des Moines for the ceremony.

As the years rolled by, my wife talked about having a vow renewal ceremony, possibly in Des Moines at the capitol because that's where we met. In that potential scenario, I pictured a few members of the wedding party joining us for a low-key affair.

After our 38th anniversary, the subject resurfaced and after discussion, I was on-board with the idea. For several months we worked the concept of renewing the vows but the scenario my better half had, was not limited to the wedding party.

As the list of potential invitees grew, it took most of the potential available venues out of play and ultimately led to an open house, so people could come and go instead of come and stay.

At the deadline for guests to tells us if they would join us, there were 190 people on the guest list! We were able to secure the Village Inn restaurant space on the University Woods campus of Oakwood Village for the date knowing things could get tight.

Oakwood's dining staff catered the event, serving a variety of desserts plus it's own punch to go with a wedding cake that bore a resemblance to the original. 

The old cake pictured, and new.

 A piece of wedding history I didn't remember from 1985 was that the top tier of the wedding cake is supposed to be taken home by the happy couple who puts it in the freezer to enjoy on the first anniversary. There were people in charge of that process, but apparently some hungry person who was unaware of the tradition took the cake.

 Forty years later, we had a back-up top tier baked and held in the vehicle until we could store it safely for the 41st anniversary.

 The New Glarus Bakery made the cake. It was my job to pick it up, with help from our oldest. I figured that if the cake didn't survive the 30-mile trip intact, there might not be an anniversary in 2026.

 The cake had to be there early because the florist was responsible for the final artistic touches of the cake so it would be close to what we had in 1985. We arrived with the cake, safe and sound, around 10 am. 

A small group including my wife, who was in charge of the operation, her sister, our two sons and their partners, plus two co-workers in dining for taking care of things before it started at 1.

Most of the people we invited are independent living residents at Oakwood, plus co-workers who could join us, and friends from groups we're in, and our church. Our former pastor and good-friend of my wife played music to set the mood. Another friend we've made through our 'performances' in Oakwood talent shows since my 'debut' in 2017 is a professional musician who agreed to play.

The music was mostly background to the event except for one we consider our song, Danny's Song. The chorus in the 1972 song by Kenny Loggins and Jim Messina was still on the air in the mid-80s when we were just starting out and I was working as a radio or television reporter for stations in Iowa and South Dakota, where Matthew was born. 

1/26/85 and today. dwm

And even though we ain't got money
I'm so in love with you, honey
And everything will bring a chain of love, oh, oh, oh
And in the morning, when I rise
You bring a tear of joy to my eyes
And tell me everything is gonna be alright.

 

We had a good-sized crowd, as many as 200 stopped by for a short time, but we didn't have a large group waiting for us to 'open' the house for guests. When a bus of residents from the Prairie Ridge campus arrived, we had a steady stream of people to greet but it was never a long wait and there were times we could circulate around the room for more conversations.

Son, Mark, took pictures for us (thanks, Mark!) and Matt helped facilitate the music and welcomed everyone to the event (thanks, Matt!). Mark's wife and Matt's girlfriend helped people find their way to the party or provide help where needed throughout the afternoon.

We didn't have any program, but my wife and I each talked a few times during the afternoon, adding our thanks to the musicians and explain why Danny's Song was ours and re-visited the 1985 cutting of the cake when the bride shoved a large piece into my mouth and the drama of the missing cake.

As these things go, I think we were able to talk personally to nearly everyone that made the time to join us, and we were able to enjoy the program. 

It was a great time, thanks to a lot of people who helped and provided encouragement and it was overwhelming to have so many people come out to share their congratulations and best wishes.

 

If you came to the party or sent a card, thank you. The reason we held the celebration for 40 years is that 50 is not a given, as many people wiser than us advised we wouldn't regret doing the early celebration. A few days afterwards, I don't expect there to be another.