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Everyone is so untrue
Honesty is hardly ever heard
And mostly what I need from you.. Lyrics from Billy Joel's song "Honesty"
It's Honesty Day.
Billy Joel wrote the song, which went as high as 24 on the Top 40 list, before Honesty Day became a thing in the 1990s,
The day is intended to make us think about what we say and remind us not to take liberties with the truth. These days the concept of truth seems less black or white than it used to be. We have expressions about speaking 'our truth.'
It seems to me that expression is actually speaking to what we believe. Our belief in something or someone may translate into what we consider truth.
In a 1995 episode of Seinfeld, George Costanza tells his best friend Jerry Seinfeld that, "It's not a lie if you believe it." Of course, the show was poking fun at the concept of truth and lies being variable, not endorsing the idea.
If you believe the earth is flat, you wouldn't think it's a lie to make that proclamation. However, most of the world would tell you it's a lie.
Did you complete an assigned task for your boss, or didn't you, it's an either/or question. Excuse making or a lie might keep you out of hot water for a moment but the truth will come out. In my experience it's better to come clean and own the issue instead of evading it.
In a survey, 27% of 1,000 Americans asked how often they lie replied never. It seems more likely that response is a lie.
White lies, are generally considered harmless and told by most of us. While there are a range of topics for such things - that could include telling someone you're OK, when you're not or that what your friend is wearing makes them look good.
If it's your good friend, your spouse, or someone you work with closely, it seems we owe it to those people to tell them if they ask such a question or to point out something that might embarrass them before they leave the office.
Just a few weeks ago I was meeting a person for the first time. Within a few minutes I realized they had their shirt on backwards. From the front it wasn't obvious but when they turned I saw a pocket on the back. While I wasn't going to say anything right away, when I saw the pocket I knew I had to speak.
Sparing the news in the privacy of their home didn't seem very kind if it meant hearing that in a more public setting.
We should be honest. If we aren't honest about the things that don't matter, why would we be for the big stuff?
I believe in putting a positive construction on everything, I don't think of it as lying. If a kind word makes someone feel better or gives them a better outlook on life, that's a positive outcome.
However, if I saw a friend do something wrong, I might look for a reason they did it while acknowledging their action violated a law or code of ethics.
I am aware, unlike George Washington, that I have told a lie, lots of lies, in my life. Some intentionally, some not; what I know and believe as the truth, is that I'm forgiven.
To close, I'd like to share a favorite saying, "Tell the truth, it's easier to remember."
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