Dirty Birds

Wild turkeys in spring. 5/3/2015 dwm

 It was a bad day to drive.

 As I drove north on highway 33, looking for the correct turn to get me to Pardeeville, all of a sudden... WHAM!

 Something large hit the windshield, slid up the glass and as the car hit a bump the object took flight and collided with the windshield of the sports utility vehicle behind me.

 "Where did that turkey come from?" I wondered while breathing a sigh of relief that the large bird didn't break the windshield.

That's when I saw the red and blue lights in my rear view mirror.  The SUV pulled alongside and the officer used the speaker telling me to pull to the side.

I came to a stop and waited, maybe he wanted to see if I was OK?  Then I noticed a small notepad in his hand.

"Well," he said, "I'm going to give you a ticket."

"A ticket?!!" I said. "Why on earth are you giving me a ticket?"

"It's simple.  You flipped me the bird."

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Monday morning, I greeted my 11 am appointment to the office and asked how he was.  He said he was terrible.

"That's too bad." I said and sat down, which is when he started telling me about the drive he took and slowly unwound the details of his journey.

When he talked about the bird hitting his car, I was about to say I'd heard turkeys were big enough to break a car window, which I noticed a slight smile that got broader as he finished the tall tale with the punch line.