My Life - Chapter 48 - Close Friends

My best friend K.C. with a very young Danielle
and her large doll.  (Circa 1976) dwm photo

I've been blessed with a lot of friends in my life.  Five stand out as my closest and best friends.

My best-friend as kid was K.C.  We lived a few houses apart on Garfield Avenue in Janesville. (Read more in Chapter 35.)  

I went to his house and he came to mine to play in the backyard or build Legos.  His family moved a block down into his grandma's former home, which is when we began calling to see when he could come over or if I could go to his house.

K.C. had an older brother.  We mostly stayed out of his way, but he was nice.  

He was especially helpful my first day of high school.  As a fresh-faced 9th grader from St. Paul Lutheran School, there weren't many kids I knew when I came out of the lunch line into the massive cafeteria at J.A. Craig High School.  After searching tables for a familiar face, along came K.C.'s brother, who invited me to join him and a few of his classmates.  I never forgot his kind invitation.

After we learned to ride bikes, we rode to nearby Adams elementary school, then started venturing a farther into the neighborhood.  After I moved a mile away, I rode to his house.  In a year or two, he was old enough to ride to mine, then we began riding our bikes around Janesville.  

During the summer we sometimes rode 20 miles a day.  We both lived on bus routes.  One thing we enjoyed, with our mom's permission, was riding the bus around the city.  We liked to play "DJ" using a stack of 45-records (small wax discs with one song on each side).  He had more current music than me as my collection, especially at first, consisted of my dad's old records.

As we got older, we rode further.  Our first really long ride took us from the east side of Janesville west on country roads to Brodhead, then up the new Sugar River Trail to New Glarus.  We turned around for the trip home, but when we reached Broadhead, we had more than 100 miles under our tires; it was getting dark; and we were tired.  His dad came and got us with their family station wagon.

Another long trip took us east to Eagle where we stayed overnight and visited the brand new Old World Wisconsin living history state historical site.  Somehow the rules then allowed us to rent a motel room.  Many years later, my wife and I were in Eagle and I wanted to see if we might stay there.  It must have lost its glamour, because after a quick look, she shot that down.

One of our last big rides was in high school, the summer between my junior and senior years.  I borrowed my dad's Datsun station wagon to haul our bikes up to Elroy, Wisconsin where we rode up to Sparta and back (64 miles) before driving home.

I was two grades ahead of K.C.  High school made it difficult to be as close as we both joined new groups of friends.  We acted out our friendship on stage my senior year in "Comedy of Errors."  I was Antipholus of Syracuse while K.C. played my slave, Dromio.  It was a blast getting to do that together.  We were also on the speech team that year.

It became more difficult to keep up with each other in college.  I attended his bachelor party and wedding, but since then lost track of him.  I suspect when we do track each other down we'll pick up where we left off.

My close friend, neighbor, and 'brother' - Andy
joined me for the Fleetwood Mac concert in 
Milwaukee.  10/28/2018 (dwm photo)

 I've known Andy (you can read a lot about him in the chapter about neighbors) since kindergarten, but it was 10 years as next-door neighbors that cemented our friendship.

 He introduced me to music and was a de-facto mentor and coach in playing the primary sports of our youth - basketball, baseball, and football.

 We talked about everything that was important to boys 'back in the day' which I presume is similar to what boys discuss now, primarily girls.

All these years later, we live 50 apart.  If Covid-19 ever fades into the woodwork, we'll find a way to get together more often.

My best friends in college,
(left) Yasin and Scott flank
me in the groomsmen photo.
1/26/1985

My two closest friends in college were with me every step.  I met Yasin on our floor in Goodwin-Kirk as he was trying to figure out how to face east.  Scott didn't talk much at the beginning, our only conversation on move-in day was agreeing to share the rental fee on a dorm-size fridge.

Yasin was from Tanzania.  We became friends as we navigated the first weeks of freshman year.  I tried to help him with American culture, he helped me improve at ping-pong.

Yasin was at Drake to become a pharmacist.  I was studying journalism.  We were never in the same class.

Scott was from a small town north of Des Moines studying math and chemistry.  We were never in the same class either.

Scott and I bonded over late night pizzas, music, and a mutual off-kilter sense of humor with a shared affection for Garfield and Far Side.

Yasin and I did a lot of things together.  One time, we used a free pair of tickets to the circus.  As the elephant parade began to start the evening, Yasin nodded at the large animals with the showgirls

on their backs, "That's how I got to school."  It seemed possible, "Oh, that must have been something."  The words were barely out of my mouth before he erupted in laughter.

Scott and I roomed together three years.  I don't recall any fights or major disagreements.  He was a great sounding board.  When I asked him to be my best man, he checked out Emily Post's book on wedding etiquette to be sure he checked all the boxes.

Bob enjoys a Triple X burger.
6/2/2009 dwm photo

 I met Bob 20 years after college, when I started working at Lutheran High School of Indianapolis.  He served as Chaplain and was head of social studies.  Bob was one of a couple teachers who warmly welcomed me when I started in December 2005.

 Working at a high school I took lunch at the same time students did, sitting at the teachers' table.  Over lunch, five days a week we talked sports and politics and debated the merit of various diners and drive-ins.

That lead to occasional summer road trips within an hour's drive of school to see if we could find the ultimate lunch spot.  I believe our first trip was to the Triple X in West Lafayette.  It's named for the root beer it serves in an old drive-in near Purdue University.

Over time we looked for the best pork tenderloin sandwich which is a big deal in the Hoosier state.  The Mug-n-Bun on the west side of Indianapolis was a favorite spot.  Sometimes we found places to eat while following Lutheran High teams compete during the post-season.

We shared the good and bad days we encountered in our roles at the school (I was a full-time fundraiser) and occasionally worked together.  After I moved to a new job we stayed in regular contact, meeting when we were in Indiana.

Heidi 

My new job was in Madison, Wisconsin at Oakwood Village.  Four years later we interviewed for a new admin who could enter gifts into the database and help us develop more efficient ways to reach donors and prospective donors.

Heidi was the obvious choice among those we interviewed.  We hit it off right away, but over weeks, months, and years our work partnership developed into a close friendship. 

She encouraged me to speak up for myself, and the first time I summoned the courage to do so, it worked!  

I believe her family was closer than any other.  The tight bond they shared was amazing.  When her son, in his 20s, died unexpectedly in early 2021, it was devastating.  Her mom died of cancer the previous summer, which was a difficult blow. 

She worked in the Oakwood Foundation five years before needing a change, due in large part to grieving her son's passing.  We vowed to stay in touch and did, with a wonderful 'catch-up' lunch two months later.  We were setting up our next lunch when she died of a heart attack.

After nearly 60 years on earth, one of life's blessings are close friends.  I've been unable to stay in touch with K.C. and Yasin but stay in touch with Scott annually and more frequently with Andy and Bob.  

It is wonderful to have people in your life who know your history, foibles, and flaws; but love you anyway.