When this question showed up in my inbox Monday: "Are you the same person you were as an adolescent, or very different?" I nearly searched for an alternative before stopping to consider it. Then it occurred to me another way to ask the questions is if I ever grew up?
Ad-o-les-cent (adjective): in the process of developing from a child to an adult.
On one level, it's easy to answer YES, of course I grew up!
I'm not the same person. I'm much older. I'm married with two grown children, none of which was true during my teen-age years! I was working then but didn't have many bills to pay or financial concerns.
Before 9th grade I was already planning to be a journalist. That happened. In fact I worked in media for 11 years counting my part-time job in high school. During college I worked in radio or TV almost constantly from the fall of 1981 until leaving WISC-TV in October 1992.
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| Junior year of high school 16 years old. School photo |
I did not expect to spend the next 10 years selling insurance or the following decade and a half (and counting) as a fundraiser.
I don't recall thinking where I'd live someday, although I didn't expect to live in Janesville. I assumed I'd marry and have a family, but no clue how that was going to happen.
The adolescent me was missing something which I learned the hard way when a big piece of humble pie landed on my plate. When I lost my job in 1992 it took six months to find the next one. In between we received unemployment compensation, qualified for food stamps, and received heating assistance.
An unexpected blessing with two young children was that we qualified for WIC (Women, Infants, & Children). That meant check-ups for the boys which uncovered a hearing and speaking issue for Mark. It was caught early. Special teachers and special attention had him reading above grade level by second grade.
In this specific example, WIC showed us we did not captain our ship. It proves to me that God's plan is better than mine.
On the other hand, at times it feels like I never grew up.
My personal frame of reference is my mid-teens with feelings of inadequacy while also too full of myself. I try to roll through situations instead of confronting issues, when you figure you might get beat up you look for the path to get along.
At the same there is a sense of optimism and potential to do almost anything I imagine while holding two fears, drowning and of dogs. I nearly drowned at age 4 and during swim testing in the Craig high school pool.
I'm not a kid anymore but I haven't put away childish things. I don't have to embrace my inner child as much as shut him up to avoid saying something stupid.
Is there a right answer to the question, "are you the same person you were as an adolescent, or different?" I'm not sure if there is other than yes!
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