December 25 - follow the crowd, buy the hot stuff, wrap it.
March 17 - drink green beer. oh...and another green beer.
July 4 - fly the flag, light some fireworks.
February 14? This is no ordinary holiday.
Maybe you even noticed during the Super Bowl that several ads were directly aimed at the solar plexus of the men thinking the game was on their mind.
Just a ploy. A ploy, I tell you. That Victoria's Secret ad near the end of the game was a strong hint of one excellent job for a Valentine's Day gift. Only for certain Valentines... I will give you that.
In the mix of every show aimed at the male demographic since there are ads for 1-800-FLOWERS and chocolates. Whitman's Chocolates, Russell Stover, and I believe, there is some kind of Valentine assortment of M&Ms.
Let me advise you - most of the above ideas will work. What won't work? Baking pans, vacuum cleaners, washers and dryers, and heaven help the guy who thinks this beloved really wants a Swiffer collection. If that's what you wrap in a bow this year, make sure the bow can't be used to hang you from the nearest tree!
You are too late to get a reservation for the place downtown, and a heart shaped pizza will only work if you have brownie points reaching from your fingertips to your shoulders.
So, if you are just not ready for Valentine's Day - use a napkin to clean your fingers after you polish off the pizza. Bend a knee in front of your beloved, look into her eyes, and tell your beloved the power of Cupid's arrow beats in your heart - yesterday, today, and always.
(Of course, to be on the safe side, you might want to run into Walgreen's to grab that silk rose and red heart-shaped box of candy.)
Happy Valentine's Day!
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