The Long Good-byes

Mid-westerners are somewhat known for this, or at least that's what I've heard, and that is we have difficulty saying good-bye.

Just as you think the visit is over, you stand up in the living room, thank the hosts for a great time and announce you need to be heading home.  Thus ensues 10 to 15 minutes more conversation on the evening's schedule, when you will see each other again, and "please give my best to the kids" before exiting the room.

Just as you get to the kitchen, the good-bye continues as someone recounts the funny story they neglected to share during the first part of the visit.  There are laughs and you mosey toward the door.

Inside the back door, while you hold it open with one hand or a foot, hugs are exchanged, hands are shaken, and backs are slapped in hearty fashion.

Loitering next to the car, the conversation continues... if its two couples visiting this is where the genders divide up with the men talking on one side of the car about gas mileage and where to get new tires while the women wonder about the upcoming sale at the store and the next function at church.

You get in the car, tighten the seat belt, put the car in gear.  As you reach the end of the drive-way - your hosts stand waving at you while you return their wave and beep the horn a couple of times.

It's a beautiful way to say good-bye and conveys the sentiments that us mid-westerners, especially those in the northern states can't utter on our own, it's a way of saying we love each other.

That scenario happened every time we went to my grandparents... it would take nearly a half-hour to get the car in motion and then I'd anxious look back through the back seat windows waving for all I was worth as Dad honked the horn and Grandpa and Grandma smiled and waved.  And, if you were like us, you probably had to call when you got home so they knew you made it home safe.

When you are with people who mean a lot to you, or with whom you've developed a close connection - it is almost impossible to stand up in the living room or even office, say good-bye and sit down as your guest shows themselves out.

That final conversation or personal anecdote or opportunity to shake hands or give and receive a hug are how we tell each other that we are both important to the other.  We may not think so consciously, but if its our last conversation we want to get it all out there for them to hear.

From a distance, by-standers or to our frenzied friends on the east and west coasts... it may look a little strange.  But if they visit sometime and just once receive the long good-bye, they will know how hard it is to leave.

From the Sound of Music

(Gretel)
The sun has gone
To bed and so must I

(Children)

So long, farewell
Auf Weidersehen, goodbye

Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye